The title says it all. It sums up the way I feel and what I've been feeling for the past month. Since too much has happened and I don't feel like typing it all out, I'll give you the Cliff Notes version. I can sum it up in one sentence:
Screwed.
Yep. Profound I know. I've done nothing wrong. I hit .351 in 8 spring training games with 4 of my 8 hits being extra base hits (1 HR, (2) 2B, (1) 3B). What's wrong with that you ask? Nothing. I hit the ball as well as I could have and here I am today, a month into the season without a job. I was promised a spot on the team and was asked to wait 2 weeks for that spot to open up and I did. My reward: practice. I practiced on every off day the team had practice and still received a swift kick to the groin. I played the waiting game as much as I could but just couldn't handle anymore torture. It was apparent that Long Beach wasn't working out as I had planned. As much as I wanted it to happen and workout for the best, alas, nothing came of it. Everybody on the team wanted me there but there was no spot for me. I'm a little bitter that I had to wait so long to find out that there wasn't a spot for me on the team. I could've easily gone to another team but no, I wanted to make it work with Long Beach. I endured as much waiting as possible but it still didn't work out.
Not only is it trying on myself but my wife as well. Having to come home everyday only to tell her "Well he said this and this and it's supposed to happen on this day." That's no fun. To be honest, I think this is my last go at it. I don't think I can endure another year of this crap. The baseball system has wore me down. There's no stability, no pay, and right now, no opportunity. I've been told by so many people, "It'll happen, it'll happen." Yes, I believe it'll happen this year, but will I have enough time to show scouts that I'm the real deal and I deserve a real chance to play organizational ball? I've proved all the local skeptics wrong and even fooled guys in spring training who didn't know I was a pitcher. The ones who did know now respect me as a hitter, which is all gravy, but I need the opportunity to show everybody else. I don't like having to wait for a phone call for weeks on end. I want it to happen this week but I fear that my phone won't ring with good news until next week or even two weeks. The All-Star break (mid-July) might be the first chance I have at playing, which is unfortunate. Everybody and their mother knows I should be playing right now but again, I've become a victim of unfortunate circumstances, AKA baseball.
So what happens if I play half a season, do well, and don't get signed to an organization? Do I attempt to try to get an invitation to spring training or do I just give it up? Both thoughts have certainly crossed my mind and I don't know what I'm going to do. As much as I don't want to give it up, I have to be real with myself. What are the odds that a 25-year old pitcher-converted-to-outfielder has a legitimate chance of playing the in the big leagues? The odds are definitely not in my favor. At least when Rick Ankiel did it he had already been a big league pitcher. Me? I've got nothing. A few years of pitching experience to my name. Do I think it's possible? Yes, but time is not on my side right now. If it's going to happen it has to happen now. I can't wait any longer. Unfortunately, I don't have any control over that, which is VERY frustrating. So until that happens, I'll just be here waiting for my phone to ring.
Screwed.
Yep. Profound I know. I've done nothing wrong. I hit .351 in 8 spring training games with 4 of my 8 hits being extra base hits (1 HR, (2) 2B, (1) 3B). What's wrong with that you ask? Nothing. I hit the ball as well as I could have and here I am today, a month into the season without a job. I was promised a spot on the team and was asked to wait 2 weeks for that spot to open up and I did. My reward: practice. I practiced on every off day the team had practice and still received a swift kick to the groin. I played the waiting game as much as I could but just couldn't handle anymore torture. It was apparent that Long Beach wasn't working out as I had planned. As much as I wanted it to happen and workout for the best, alas, nothing came of it. Everybody on the team wanted me there but there was no spot for me. I'm a little bitter that I had to wait so long to find out that there wasn't a spot for me on the team. I could've easily gone to another team but no, I wanted to make it work with Long Beach. I endured as much waiting as possible but it still didn't work out.
Not only is it trying on myself but my wife as well. Having to come home everyday only to tell her "Well he said this and this and it's supposed to happen on this day." That's no fun. To be honest, I think this is my last go at it. I don't think I can endure another year of this crap. The baseball system has wore me down. There's no stability, no pay, and right now, no opportunity. I've been told by so many people, "It'll happen, it'll happen." Yes, I believe it'll happen this year, but will I have enough time to show scouts that I'm the real deal and I deserve a real chance to play organizational ball? I've proved all the local skeptics wrong and even fooled guys in spring training who didn't know I was a pitcher. The ones who did know now respect me as a hitter, which is all gravy, but I need the opportunity to show everybody else. I don't like having to wait for a phone call for weeks on end. I want it to happen this week but I fear that my phone won't ring with good news until next week or even two weeks. The All-Star break (mid-July) might be the first chance I have at playing, which is unfortunate. Everybody and their mother knows I should be playing right now but again, I've become a victim of unfortunate circumstances, AKA baseball.
So what happens if I play half a season, do well, and don't get signed to an organization? Do I attempt to try to get an invitation to spring training or do I just give it up? Both thoughts have certainly crossed my mind and I don't know what I'm going to do. As much as I don't want to give it up, I have to be real with myself. What are the odds that a 25-year old pitcher-converted-to-outfielder has a legitimate chance of playing the in the big leagues? The odds are definitely not in my favor. At least when Rick Ankiel did it he had already been a big league pitcher. Me? I've got nothing. A few years of pitching experience to my name. Do I think it's possible? Yes, but time is not on my side right now. If it's going to happen it has to happen now. I can't wait any longer. Unfortunately, I don't have any control over that, which is VERY frustrating. So until that happens, I'll just be here waiting for my phone to ring.
